Thursday, March 13, 2014

Long Time, No Post

I can't believe that time has flown so fast with all of the drama I've been going through in my personal life. I've missed posting looks and swatches and being excited about makeup.

The reason that I disappeared for so long, other than having a beautiful five and a half year old that needs me and my job is that well...it seems like the bottom fell out of my life and there was no way of fixing it.

The father of my child and I had so many issues. I knew things were going south but we had been together for my whole adult life. I wanted to get counseling and fix things, he wanted something different. He eventually left me for someone he had been seeing for months behind my back. We had been together for 10 years at that point. I was upset, still am. It hurt and still does...but such as life.

I also have been getting sick frequently. I now know that I have fibromyalgia and at least that is being managed. I also have had a slew of just bad luck with becoming ill. I am actually sitting up in bed right now at 1:12am typing this while recovering from a tonsillectomy. Let me tell you, the recovery has been horrible for my 31 year old self. I had to get the surgery because I have had a horrible case of chronic tonsillitis since December and it wasn't getting better, it also caused me to battle tons of ear infections as well. I had the surgery on the fourth, last week Tuesday, and had to go to the ER for complications, hemorrhaging, infection and vomiting blood. I'm feeling a little itty bit better, but it seems as though my recovery suffered from the complications. I've just had horrible postoperative/first surgery bad luck.

It just feels as though the last few years, which doesn't seem like years at all, only a matter of a few months, have gone terribly wrong. Bad luck all around and I honestly did not see everything turning out this way...it's not what I wanted for my family, for my health or for my life in general. It's still a bitter pill to swallow, one that I've been cutting up in pieces and have yet to finish taking, nor feeling the effects of.

I'm trying to get myself to feel like me again, and getting back to this blog will help. I do my best to be the best person I can be for my child and for myself. So, I'm pushing to let go and get back into the things I love and blogging and posting looks was one of those things.

I'm going to start slowly, to ease back into things. But, my eventual goal is to post at least three times per week. I'm hoping I can do this, to not feel defeated. I will do my darnedest to get back in this saddle. I thank all of you that did not stop following my blog during this regretful absence.

-Alexis aka Morgenstern

No comments:

Post a Comment